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tv   The Greg Gutfeld Show  FOX News  September 6, 2015 7:00pm-8:01pm PDT

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thanks for being with us. have a great night. , i'm greg gutfeld. i love that robe. a donut looking pop star from "prison break." are people still buying drinks for killing bin laden. it keeps them busy and away from the liquor cabinet. i've missed you, america. we've got a lot to talk about, so let's get started. i'm told by his advisers he doesn't care about the flack he's getting -- >> that's messed up. >> it is extremely distressing. >> are we trying to appeal to
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the ill-informed? i mean, what's the point of this? let's welcome tonight's guest. she's as blunt as an ax and twice as cutting, fox business contributor megan mcdowell. it's joann sizinski. it's our liberal panel. this summer the airwaves were dominated by donald, hillary, e-mails, debates and a big whopper marriage that never happened, thank god. a frenchman taking down a
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terrorist on a paris-bound train. this is my favorite story because it illustrates two sides of a coin. one, it stopped incredible carnage, and two, it shows you that without the heroism, there would have been incredible carnage. this thug was on a watch list and it didn't matter. he roamed freely among the masses. my conclusion? we're sitting ducks for massacres unless we rethink security and surveillance. all right, degan, any thoughts on what i'm saying? i believe we have to treat this last act of heroism as something bad happened that no one died. >> rather than being worried about it, i'm optimistic that -- >> i don't want to step up. i miss the days of the dining car and the white gloves. i wasn't alive in those days but i hear they were lovely.
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men are bad asses and women can be, too. come on, man! >> you can't have a government rely on the kindness of strangers. if it wasn't for the heroism of these guys, malice, there would have been 100 people dead, probably. >> true, but let's be fair. george washington's army were all volunteer, regular americans. this again proves that the rest of the world will have to stand by americans to come save their butts, especially the french. >> i don't want to have to do anything. i want to sit on the train, pretend to be asleep and get your own room. that's the only thing you need to worry about. >> i'm not even walking into mcdonald's with you. >> i'm serious. >> i believe surveillance and security should be treated like a public issue. it's time for the public and the government to work together and create a national police state. because, because terrorists are going to be using private
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pathways to destroy us. private companies have to get involved. i'm tired of talking about this because i know i'm right and i want to move on. your story, degan, was trump. >> yes. it is the perfect summertime story, right? it is like a bad hookup on a hot august night. he has pretty good pickup lines, but then there's the unfortunate stumbling and the empty promises. he will quickly end up insulting you about maybe your love handles, and then it's all over, and by the middle of september you're acting like you don't even know the guy, you don't remember any of this, or you blame tequila. that's how it's going to turn out. >> it's true, trump is america's summer fling. some people try to get that summer fling, like bring them to meet the family for thanksgiving, and, you know, it's christmas, you want the presents, you want candy. >> but not a bad summer fling. i have a feeling this fling will go into the fall and perhaps into january.
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>> because nothing better comes along. >> he's football to the other candidates' soccer. >> i also like how barry goldwater gave us ronald reagan. frankly, i think it's a positive. >> you like him because he's rawness. >> and i'm sick of this kind of pretense and discord. let's have welfare in washington just like we had with people conta caning each other in the senate. >> i find when he speaks to be very entertaining. i don't like his twitter antics. going on twitter if you're going to be a president to me is kind of petty. >> well, i actually love going on twitter. it's really great for me. i'm never alone when twitter is around. but yeah, even his resting face is enough to be daunting. do you think he sleeps like that? is that the way he gets up in the morning? >> the start of the debate, this was his face. >> but you know what? this is what he was born for, right? i think this is what he was born
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for. he is a natural at talking to people. he does repeat himself over and over and over again, but so do i. i'm jealous. i'm jealous of him. malice, what's your story? >> as we all know, north korea is the craziest country on earth. now pyongyang gets a half hour before the rest of that time zone going back before that time when they say before the [ bleep ] conquered them. starting from the birth of christ, they start with the birth of the great leader kim song un, and now we're in the year 1004. >> i never experience ad a different time zone until i was 21 or 22. i was in california, i never had a different time zone. i didn't even know what a time zone was. when somebody explained it to
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me, i go, i didn't get it. when people explained to me jet lag, i didn't understand what jet lag was. >> you pretended you understood what it was, though? >> i pretended. i didn't understand until i flew to d.c. for a job interview -- >> how old were you? >> probably 21. i had relatives that lived far away. >> in the words of my daddy, i don't believe i would have told that. >> by the way, when i think about north korea, i think about this. we don't need marvel comic space movies. we don't. we already have a marvel villain in north korea. america should be the fantastic 4. >> yeah, i think it's really sad how north korea is portrayed as a carnival when in fact they have concentration camps. this is the realest villainy we have under us today. >> and something bad is going to happen, right? >> hopefully something good. they're starting to collapse already. >> really? you've been there.
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>> i have been there, and the markets aren't providing food because the governments couldn't do it, and cynicism is what brought down the soviet union as well. >> your story is ariana grande? >> it's the largest story of the summer. i'm fascinated by the fact that as americans shamed a female celebrity for having a snack. we are always talking about how these celebrities don't eat, or are they good role models because they're so thin? she was enjoying a nice, tasty donut, the treat that is american. >> she spit on it! >> it was a donation. if they would have sold those donuts on e bay, that would have been millions for this donut shop. >> i would like to thank our good friends at tmz for providing a video of my favorite summer moments. >> the worst thing in the world are young people with fame and money. when they get it early, they have no wisdom and they have no
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hu humility. so what they do is spit on other people's food and they think it's funny. or justin bieber urinating -- >> if ariana were aaron grande, we wouldn't have this story because we expect it from boys. >> i can't wait until she's behind the counter serving those donuts. >> you know she's going to be fat before the age of 25. >> you're named correctly, malice. she is the epitome of the stero steroidal age. katherine? story. >> the escaped convicts. those guys almost did it, but they were drunk. they were getting drunk. if you have stuff to do, i know it's fun to party, i know it's fun to booze, don't drink before work, definitely when you're
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trying to avoid life imprisonment. just stay sober for a little bit. >> whsen should i not drink? >> when you're trying to avoid being in prison the rest of your life. >> we've always wondered where would we go and who would we call if we were escaping either where we live -- >> i indulged as well. >> in prison? what would you be wearing? >> probably a prison jump suit, but i would have to make sure i manipulated somebody from the outside before going on the inside. >> here's the lesson. you need a year of manipulation of one person. all you need is to manipulate one person to help you, and that's it. >> i hope adelaide isn't listening. >> would i be able to wear these glasses in prison. >> yes, you do. if you want a hot guy that's tight, you got to work in a
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prison. there's none of them outside the walls anymore. >> speaking of walls, liberal panel, what was your story of the summer? >> my story of the summer was nasa's new horizon pluto fly-by. it was a story that reminded americans that in our hearts, we are innovators and thank you for illuminating one corner of the prior seat. >> no, you're not human. by the way, too bad we don't have a space program anymore. i disagree. we have an ambitious space program that still stands at the floor and dreams, we love blut oe. >> the best thing about this drive-by is pluto actually had the heart on it. >> it's an adorable planet. >> it did not want to be considered adorable. it's like, no, i'm a real
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planet. >> there's the heart. there it is. some alien put that there. you know what it will be? it will be like a gift putin gives to somebody later. speaking of gifts, if you haven't, pre-ordered my new book "how to be right." it basically teaches you how to be persuasive. it's so small, you could read it in an hour. before we go -- sorry, i just wanted to mention my other highlight of the summer, working with liou dobbs. he doesn't give you anything less than the best. here's a moment i'll never forget, when he gave me a list to one of our first two shows and made sure i had everything i need.
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can i go to work with you? >> you're going to be fine, and if he gives you any trouble, just ignore him. >> he's constantly following me in the halls. >> in the halls? >> in the halls. >> well, ignore him. >> all right. i'll try. thanks, lou. >> have fun. >> i'm going to try. >> greg. >> yeah. >> did you forget something? >> oh, thanks. peanut butter? >> obviously. >> thank you. >> greg? this? >> thanks, lou. almost forgot. >> greg? and this? >> thanks. i almost forgot. uncle steven. anything else?
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things, too. we met him on the stairs up. but we're not on speaking terms in general. >> you killed my dad, #unfair. lol. >> i would say it was fair. >> pretty fair. >> how would make an emoji for that? >> whenever you and kwoyour significant other, girlfriend or wife, i don't know where you are these days, do you ever blurt out, i killed bin laden? >> no, that doesn't work. i tried it in bars before, it doesn't work there, either. >> has enough time gone by that now you're back to buying your own drinks? >> i was with my brother last night at a kid rock concert, and we tried to get a drink out of someone and they didn't even believe us. >> what you're doing is just walking up to girls in bars and saying, i killed bin laden? can i buy you a drink? >> it's at the point now that even if i tell them i'm a navy
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s.e.a.l., they don't believe it. >> there's so many navy s.e.a.l.s out. >> "sniper ninja s.e.a.l." that's a title of a next book. i don't know what it would be about. >> it should be about man doing manly killings. >> yes. well done. put that in your proposal. rob, i got to ask you, a lot of these presidential candidates are talking about what they would do with terror, what they would do with isis. is there anybody who stands out, anybody you think has the right idea? >> i think it is guys that are doing the primaries right now, the debates right now, they're all smart enough to realize it's going to take a large effort, a lot of different minds, a lot of different planners out of the pentagon, things like that. it's not a simple solution. i think the one they would be most afraid of would be donald
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trump. i think that -- i mean, he doesn't use teleprompters, he pretty much tells it like it is, what's on his mind, and i don't think he takes a lot of crap. >> today might be mark oe rubio. if he would throw tha football d hit a child, there are no accidents. >> huckabee said it would take no more than ten days to get rid of isis. >> that all depends on if the men in the armed forces would take the gloves off to fight them. go there to kill them and leave it alone. >> almost shows how much grits and gravy you have, greg. >> don't put it on me.
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don't they want. >> the iranians and the sunni all want the end of the world. no, they're living in an ancient time. the only way to defeat is with the moderate muslims that maybe realize just because someone doesn't believe what i don't believe. i don't need to cut their head off and burn them alive. they'll need to stand up and say enough is enough. right now no one is fighting. that's why they're tough guys, no one is fighting. >> you know what worries me, it's not the barbarism we see now, if we can buy drones at radio shack, when thouldn't the figure out how to use this stuff? >> like the nuclear weapon we gave them? give a nuclear weapon to someone who is 10 times more religious than your crazy religious aunt, give them a continental
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ballistic missile. it's there so they can hit manhattan. >> is isis worse off now than maybe a year ago? >> they're getting stronger because it's not long before the assad regime crumb bellles and who is in charge? >> this segment made me scared. >> you should be scared. isis and terror, it's not immigration, it's not race -- it could be the economy. >> easy for a white guy to say. >> thank you. how do you know i'm white? inside i could be something else. rob, thank you so much and thank you for your service, and thank you for getting rid of bin laden. i would have gotten around to it sooner or later, but i have some -- >> stuff going on. >> yeah, i had some difficult thijz going on. >> i wasn't very busy so i had some extra time. i knocked that one out of the park. >> that's it for this segment.
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you don't get a super bowl ring if you lost the super bowl, so why should your child get a trophy for just playing a sport? it's evil. after steelers linebacker james harrison said he was giving back
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his sons' participation trophies, jim van not only agreed with harrison, he said giving a kid a trophy they didn't earn is a form of child abuse because that's not the real world. joining me to discuss this, a man who has no choice but to live large, our big news correspondent wrestler. you have strong opinions about this. should he strip the trophies from his kid? >> i think the manner he did it may be a little iffy, maybe not put it on instagram. the walk to school may not have been fun. the message, i agree with it 110% and here's why. in this country i feel we have gotten away from the values of failing and losing and picking yourself up. everybody loves the movie with the montage, gets beat up, his wife leaves him and then he fights back and he gets it and he takes her back. but that's neither here nor
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there. but we don't do that anymore. when we lose, okay, here's this, anyway. no problem, you're okay. i love you, baby, you're fine. especially young men. i can't speak for young women, but for young men not having those lumps and knocks in life to come back from, when you're an adult and the first time you go for a job and you hear no, then you'll be like, well, then what do i get? nothing. you didn't get a trophy because you didn't win. when you win, you get a trophy. then when you win and you get that trophy, it's a tremendous feeling. that's why you see grown men crying when they win the super bowl because of the training and the sacrifices. when you just get everything all the time, you don't appreciate anything. >> i kept all my participation trophies, but it was to remind me that i was a failure. i put them next to all my brothers actually did stuff well
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trophies. but anger is healthy if you channel it right. >> i think that's why every kid, though, should participate in theater. because not everyone can be the lead. you learn -- >> story of my life. >> -- rejection very well. it's a play. there's a certain number of characters. either you make it or you don't. >> i try to be in musicals. i can't sing at all. i sounded like a power tool as a child. >> now you're well adjusted. >> yeah. >> the guy stands in the back. okay, i'll go stand in the back. >> you can never be a flyer. >> no. no. >> however, you are a bodyguard to many, many, important, famous people. who did you bodyguard? >> my longest tenure and the one i became exclusive with was snoop. i was with snoop for a long time. >> it wasn't hard work, it couldn't be, because he didn't move quickly, right?
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>> he didn't move quickly but he didn't sleep. he's like that turtle, hey, cuz, i'm going to play this video game for eight hours. watch me. then we're going food shopping at 7-eleven. then you're going to drive me and we're playing video games again. have you ever watched people play videos games? you can't fall asleep. everyone thinks snoop was a petition partyer, and he's not. i did a lot of stuff with his kids and stuff, but it's nonstop. he never sleeps. never sleeps. >> was it his preference for drugs? >> drugs. you're throwing that word around like that guy said abuse.
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>> i'm for legalization. >> so he partakes in marijuana every once in a while. >> recreational activities. >> you have to understand when he first started, cocaine and stuff was legal. >> was the movie "the bodyguard" realistic? >> well, we never made out, if that's your question. when i left for wwe, there wasn't rain. it was more like "star wars." it was like, i love you. i know. >> i think that movie has to be made in this day and age. >> the gay bodyguard? >> exactly. who would you like to play? if you had to play the bodyguard, who would you like to be guarding in that movie? >> oh, boy. >> john stamos. >> that's a very good answer. >> mel gib sson. >> rugged. >> how about a young mel gibson?
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>> i want the angry one. so when we leave he doesn't cry. >> stop by when you're in town because we always enjoy your company. >> and you're my brother from another mother and father. >> that's so true. the similarities are uncanny. stick around, everybody. we'll be right back. i can do easily. new benefiber healthy shape helps curb cravings. it's a clear, taste-free daily supplement that's clinically proven to help keep me fuller longer. new benefiber healthy shape. this, i can do.
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and i'm jerry bell the third. i'm like a big bear and he's my little cub. this little guy is non-stop. he's always hanging out with his friends. you've got to be prepared to sit at the edge of your seat and be ready to get up. there's no "deep couch sitting." it's definitely not good for my back. this is the part i really don't like right here.ell) what's that? a package! it's a swiffer wetjet. it almost feels like it's moving itself. this is kind of fun. that comes from my floor? eww! this is deep couch sitting. deep couch sitting!
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new citracal pearls. dedelicious berries and cream. soft, chewable, calcium plus vitamin d. only from citracal. according to new research as opposed to old, cat videos are just as stimulating as a cup of coffee. so i agreed to let the millennials go to a cat exhibit in the hopes i won't go to sleep during the package. roll it, fran. >> people say millennials aren't cultured enough. that's just plain wrong. so wrong, in fact, we have decide to do come to the museum of the moving image to celebrate our appreciation for fine arts.
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and to celebrate the arts of our generation: internet cats. i haven't seen work like this since the mona lisa. trump your cat is not only relevant to today's times, but relevant to every art enthusiast. the cat wants a cheeseburger. he does not have a cheeseburger. why does he not have a cheeseburger? i think the artist was trying to comment on the lack of resources in the obama economy. so how does this art make you feel? >> oh, it makes me feel all kinds of things. i feel bad for some of the cats. i love some of the cats. >> what has been your favorite
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part so far? >> coming here. i really like your costume, though. where did you get it? >> i don't understand the question. if you look at the shadows, i think that also represents something. >> everything represents something. >> yes. >> there are no mistakes, there are no coincidences in art. >> i think i might cry. >> i did already today, so -- >> i just saw one that really upset me. >> what one was that? >> that was the one where the poor cat went into the urn and i have no idea whether he got out or not. >> that might make the artist intense. >> i also didn't like the cat was getting really dizzy on the turntable. >> i feel for that cat. i do. >> thank you. everybody was laughing. i didn't think it was funny.
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>> we all interpret art differently, that's for sure. could you get out of bed in the morning without internet cat videos? >> yeah, i could imagine that, yeah. i could, yeah. >> stronger than me, i guess. yeah. all right. what about you? >> well, i could, but my son can't. he's another cat crazy person. >> is he single? >> yes, he is. >> nice. i don't have any problems anymore. i found all the answers. >> and it was here the whole time. >> it was on internet cat the whole time. >> oh, my gosh. >> that was pretty impressive, cat. was that a life-changing -- i called you cat. did it change your life? >> all the moments change our looif lives, right? >> i was incredibly comfortable doing that. >> i could tell. >> you rented that costume and it was probably worn by somebody
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who did something in it. >> i sleep with it now. >> i do think it's important to point out that after we shot this entire thing, the museum spokeswoman wanted to make sure we understood that this was not an art exhibit, that this is sort of like a history timeline of internet cat videos and how they've kind of grown popular. which just means she doesn't get art. >> everything is art. everything you do is art. >> even you're kind of like an art exhibit, at least with that hair. how did you take the museum? did you like it? >> i hate cats. >> you do? >> this past summer i went to prague because my dad's friend owns a zoo. after a cheetah took a swipe at my face -- >> do you think that's cool? "i hate cats." >> apparently it's cool to interrupt. the cat took a swipe at my face, and ever since then i've been a
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dog person ever since. >> why were you playing with a cheetah? >> this isn't complicated. >> who has a friend that owns a zoo? >> they're in prague. >> everybody in prague owns zoos? >> his parents do. they're getting a divorce. examining the disturbing story of a man named trevor. to recap the story so far, trevor has been wanted by the cia since the late '60s after claiming information that the moon landing had been fake. trevor hid out on alcatraz island and later escaped and almost died after a run-in with huey & the news. we thought it would be best to look into his past. >> do the answers to why trevor did what he did line his past? was he simply a monster or
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simply misunderstood? could the red lines go back to new york? >> he was always back in his bunk by morning. >> did everybody knows same trevor? what about his first love? >> trevor would get one dessert and then ask for two spoons. some people call it romantic, i call it being cheap. >> could this have been overlooked by ordering two bana bananas foster? >> he was always smart, but from what we know now, maybe too smart. >> smart enough to get someone he loved to do something they never thought they would? >> after that night, i knew i would never see him again. but then i did. >> did her return to trevor's life ruin one true friendship? >> trevor was my best friend. i don't think anyone thought he
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would become my worst enemy. >> degan, i didn't know you were so close to trevor. >> yeah. >> i guess we should go to break, huh? when we return, the most offensive tweets of the month. stay tuned.
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ever since i've been on twitter, companies have been getting in trouble tweeting inappropriate things. just last year, dave and buster's was called on when they said, "i hate tacos." frankly the mainstream media i coined like so many who slipped through the cracks. time once again for -- >> thank you, greg. we're going to start off with one from ford motor company earlier this week. a pond, a man's best friend and a #fordtruck. could you ask for anything more? #trucktuesday. i could think of something to ask for more, right? how about not using gender-specific language in your tweets? man's best friend? why in the hell would i want spend the day with some
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mysogynistic dog? >> except we don't know if he's mysogynistic. could be female. >> this one from old spice. the process of being a new man involves hamburger meat, wheels, lessons and old spice deodorant. i can't believe i'm the only one who knew this. all it takes to transition -- >> it's called old spice. why is age so important? imagine you could do that to everything, like a sweater. >> yeah, a sweater, i've seen that sweater a lot. but that was pretty bad, and
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what's bad is this one from maybelline, new york. groceries? maybe. new makeup? good, eating bad. great message for women. you know what else sunday is, by the way? god's day. that's why i never wear makeup on sunday. >> i can tell you. you're glowing with your own natural glow. instead of eating food, eat makeup. that can't be healthy. >> it's not. speaking of eating healthy, you might not want to eat at taco bell. donating a $1 could help teens graduate high school and reach their potential. head to taco bell or donate online. do they really think a few bucks is going to stop institutional ray sich. that just shows the ignorance of
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what kids have to go through. great job, taco bell. that's one of the most offensive tweets i've ever seen. >> i think we should have a boycott or a bell-cott, because that's clever, a play on words. >> no you're getting it. i boycotted them already. >> good for you. >> anything that makes me upset once, i'm done with it. >> bad idea. how you supposed to know what's going on? >> time to take a break. first, what are your guests receiving tonight? >> announcer: tonight's guests receive a free guest wand. the guest wand does not work on in-laws. ♪
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everyone loves the picture i posted of you. at&t reminds you it can wait. feel like this. look like this. feel like this. with dreamwalk insoles, turn shoes that can be a pain into comfortable ones. their soft cushioning support means you can look like this. and feel like this. dreamwalk. finally tonight, a look back
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at my favorite moment of the summer. the first republican debate was watched by 24 million people and picked apart in the days that followed. the best analysis that happened on this very show courtesy of the new york city urban debate league. >> what do you think won the debate and why? >> i would say marco rubio won the debate. he seemed so prepared and confident for what he's going to do as president and went into each issue with so much detail that it shows he's really prepared. he countered all the others, no, this is how we do it. >> i see the successor to special report right there. what do you think lost? >> i definitely think that donald trump lost. in my own opinion, donald trump has no idea what he's doing up there. >> fair enough. who did you like up there? >> i agree, i liked marco rubio. he knew exactly what he was doing when he got on stage.
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he knew what he was going to say and what was going to persuade the people to agree with him. he just knew what he was doing. i like that. i'm all about professionalism and that's what he had that most of the candidates up there didn't. >> let me know. who did you like and who did you dislike? >> well, i liked john kasich. he brought out really good points. and i just like rand paul because all of his points were not as strong as marco rubio's or john kasich. all his points were -- were not that great. >> yes. i agree with you, by the way. i don't think rand paul's points were that great either. all right. who did you like and who did you want to hear more from? >> i like ben carson. he had an interesting twist. because he works with brains, he thought that, well, we need more
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intelligence and he brought that to the table. he thought as a candidate he needs to bring intelligence and things of that nature to the table. >> uh-huh. that's good. before i move onto my other panel. do you ever try to debate your parents over stuff, like if you want to stay out late or get money to go out? do you try debate tricks on your parents? >> all the time. all the time. it's all about convincing them to do it. it's just like a debate. you convince them to let you have a certain item or go somewhere. >> do you have any dirty debating tricks that you could give me, because i'm terrible at debating? >> i would probably say there's always some type of videotape of your opponent debating. you just got to take their weakness and use it against them. >> very good. selma, do you ever get nervous? >> all the time because every
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time it's a big debate, i just be myself and trying my best. >> good tip. how do you practice? how do you get better? >> i use pens and i put them towards my mouth to make sure i don't stutter as much. >> i do that too. i put my pen in my mouth just so i shut up. i never know whether i'm going to say completely stupid. you guys did great. thank you so much. i don't think the people i have now will surpass your expertise. >> thanks to rob o'neal, tyrus, joanne, katherine and the liberal panel. my apologies to chip. i love you america. >> it was all about tattoos, leather and rock 'n' roll and that was just brurge. >> he had a tramp stamp. i should have known then and
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there what a [ bleep ] loser he was. >> maybe he was a little too smart. [ laughter ] >> he was always very smart, but from what we know now, maybe a little too smart. special ede o'reilly factor is on. tonight: >> it's the did you know that factor extravaganza. >> my mom called me up and she said gretchen, i found something for you to try in life. the miss america pageant. >> miss america is gretchen carlson, miss minnesota. >> the amazing stories behind much of our fox news talent. >> let me take two years to see if i could get to the top rock radio station in two years. i got there in 18 months. >> i actually feared for my life because the crowd was closing in. >> what did they want? >> they wanted. >> they wanted to be near you. >> they wanted to hug my essence. >> huff your essence. [ laughter ] >> i thought that was one of the groups you

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